3
by WankyBrittanaLover
Summary: She opens the door. She looks at you, straight in the eyes. You think she should be surprised, but then you realize that she was probably waiting for you. You know that she knows you. She knew you were going to do this before you even found out. That's just part of your relationship. You guess that some things never change. A series of one-shots about Heather's baby & pregnancy.


**You are running. You are running with all your might across the streets of California. You just came back from New York from rehearsing some Glee scenes, which were going great, until you received the text message. **

**From: Lady Di: Hemo is pregnant**

**Three words. Three words were all it took to make your world stop. You felt your heart drop. Everything just broke inside of you. She was pregnant. The love of your life was pregnant and you weren't the father. Or as much as a father as you could be under the circumstances. You didn't have to ask; you knew who the father was. Taylor. Fucking Taylor. You didn't even notice you were shaking until you tried to type out a response. Shaking out of anger, sadness, and surprise. You knew this was bound to happen sooner or later, but you weren't ready. You weren't ready to face this. Not now. Not ever.**

**"Naya?" You heard Lea say behind you. "Are you..."**

**You didn't let her finish the question. You just took off as fast as you could because no one could see you break. You wondered if anyone else knew. The fact that no one came after you answered your question.**

**As soon as you got outside, you typed a quick response.**

**To: Lady Di: Who told you?**

**From: Lady Di: Amber**

**You took a deep breath, trying to calm your breaking, beating heart. And then you typed out the one question that you were not sure if you wanted the answer to...**

**To: Lady Di: How far along is she?**

**From: Lady Di: Three months...**

**Three months. You threw your phone to the street. You were enraged. You promised each other that no matter what, you two were always going to be best friends. Best friends tell each other everything, right? Then how come you have to find out by Dianna that your best friend was pregnant?! Three months later! Three fucking months later! You wanted to cry. So bad. The tears were gathering up in your eyes, but crying wasn't going to help. You needed answers instead. So you just took a deep breath, picked up your phone, and went back inside to finish rehearsals. Once you would go back to California, you would do what you had to do.**

**As soon as you came back, you dropped your bags in your house and took out your phone. You knew you had to post an Instagram selfie for your fans. You knew you had to memorize your new script. You knew you had to call back Big Sean, the one guy who would make all of your worries fade away, but suddenly nothing else mattered.**

**You posted a twitter message apologizing to your fans, telling them that you were sick all day, which was true considering the situation, and you took off.**

**You knew it was best to call a cab, but you needed to run. You needed to literally chase your answers while run straight into the problem. You needed to do it. You needed to release all the anger... The sadness... The memories...**

**And now you find yourself running... Remembering...**

**"We're a two-shot!"**

**Running. Remembering.**

**"We just love each other, that's all..."**

**Running. Remembering. Remembering.**

**"I like you..."**

**"I like you, too..."**

**The memories were breaking the pieces of your already broken heart, but you just couldn't stop yourself from doing so.**

**"Me and youuu you and meee both of us togetha!"**

**You can see papparazzi from the corner of your eye, but they don't matter. So you just keep running...**

**"Yay! Heather Morris is coming over! BritBrit Santana night... Umm… okay so all I have to say is WOW."**

**Those longing looks... Those soft touches... Those blue eyes... They all seem to overwhelm you... But you just can't stop.. So you start running faster.**

**"I love being in scenes with this one. It's great to be with her especially cause she's so talented...I just feel so blessed like her and I are always together."**

**You don't even notice the tears running down your face until you literally can't see where you're going, making you bump into a table. But you don't care. You just keep running.**

**"This is Naya, my best friend!... Even in the scenes likes it's just literally her and I together like making each other laugh... I pray for Naya Rivera as my D-O-double G."**

**A sob takes over your body but you just keep running. **

**"Its valentines day here at McKinley. Love is in the air…"**

**You see her building from a far, so you just keep running.**

"**I'd her get pregnant… We're the best couple. We're perfect for each other."**

**Three more blocks. Running. Remembering.**

**"Fate..."**

**You try to stop the adrenaline but it's driving you insane. Running. Remembering.**

**"Has..."**

**Two more sobs come your way but you just get in the building, ignoring the weird looks.**

**"Laid..."**

**You take the elevator and release a few tears before the doors open.**

**"A..."**

**You run to her door and knock a few times and you wait a few seconds, wiping away your tears, until...**

**"Hand."**

**She opens the door. She looks at you, straight in the eyes. You think she should be surprised, but then you realize that she was probably waiting for you. You know that she knows you. She knew you were going to do this before you even found out. That's just part of your relationship. You guess that some things never change.**

**"Naya..." She whispers out, giving you a pitiful look. **

**You know you must look horrible, with all your hair messed up and your eyes bloodshot from all the tears. But you needed answers. "Why?"**

**She gives you a questioning look. **

**"Why didnt you tell me?!" You raise your voice.**

**She just shrugs and looks down.**

**"I thought we were best friends! I deserved to know!" You raise your hands and notice that you accidently brought your jacket in your hands and you didn't even notice. Your mind was somewhere else. **

**"I just... I didn't think it was convenient..." She mumbles.**

**You look for her eyes with yours, filled with anger. "Convenient?" You say between gritted teeth.**

**"Yeah..." She mumbles again, eyes still down. **

**"Convenient?" You say in anger and surprise. "Convenient?! That's your excuse?!"**

**"Naya, this doesn't concern you! This is MY problem! And Taylor's!" She finally looks up and finds her voice, taking you aback and giving you the strengths to say all the things you've always wanted to say.**

**To release all the anger she has made you feel.**

**To release all the happiness you always got whenever she was with you.**

**To release all the heartbreak from those sleepless nights. **

**"Damn it, Heather!" You scream out. "You said that it wasn't my problem when we stopped dating when Taylor came back because you still had feelings for him! You said it wasn't my problem when you cheated on him all those times because you felt lonely! You said it wasn't my problem when you cut me out of your life when you couldn't face the fact that you were really in love with me and sleeping around with me wouldn't help! You said it wasn't my problem when he moved in and we couldn't keep fooling around! You said it wasn't my problem when you told me you loved me for the first time and we made love but we couldn't be together because of him! You told me it wasn't my problem when you asked Ryan to forget about Brittana because you couldn't risk your relationship again! According to you, it's never my problem! It was always YOURS! But I always went along with it because I love you THAT much! Because I wanted to give you your space so you could accept yourself and don't give a fuck about what our fans say or what your mom says! But I made a mistake because look where it got us! It's never been YOUR problem; it has always been OUR problem because it affected ME as much as it hurt YOU because I love you so! I deserved to know, Heather! Dammit, I deserved to know!" The tears are streaming down your face, but you're still standing tall. You're not giving her the pleasure of taking you down with her.**

**"Im sorry... I just... I didn't..." She stutters, surprised by all you said. Because deep down she knows it was all true. "I'm sorry… I should have told you..."**

**"Yeah, you should have..." You say calmly, still crying a bit, but relieved because you finally said all you've always wanted to tell her. You almost feel free. But that baby was tying you down to reality.**

**"And you should have told me, too…" She goes back to mumbling.**

**In between the tears, you give her a questioning look.**

**"You should have told me about Big Sean." She says, almost in a mocking way. **

**"There's nothing to tell..." You say softly. Really, you know there's nothing to tell. He's just there to make things better. Matt was just making things worse. **

**"You're dating him. That's something to tell." She says softly too and she leans against the door. **

**"He isn't... He's just..." You try to find a way to explain to her how you really feel about him, but no words come to mind, so you just look at her. You give her.. Her look. You hope it's enough to express how much you love her but that Big Sean is something that you have to do for yourself. She nods.**

**"I understand..." **

**You just look down and ask something that you have to ask to prepare yourself. "Is there something else I should know?" **

**You feel her shift next to you. And then she takes a deep breath. And then she says... "He asked me to marry him."**

**You drop your jacket and quickly look up. The tears come back and you feel your legs weak. You knew she had to marry him. There was a child coming. The baby needed a father. But hearing her say it... It just... It just reminds you about how many times she chose HIM over you. **

**"Did you say yes?" You ask out of breath. **

**"I said we should talk about it after the baby is born." She answers, almost looking peaceful because she got it out of her chest.**

**You feel the strength in your legs slowly return, but not fully. You knew she should marry him, but your selfish side is happy because that wasn't coming just yet. But marriage is the next step. After that baby is born, it's all downhill for you. She's going to make a family and you aren't even going to be a part of it. It's funny, because in your dreams you always were.**

**"It's just too much stress right now." She adds while she caresses her belly. And that's when you see it. The baby bump. You notice how well it suits her. You could never imagine her with a baby bump, but now that you see her, it almost feels right. Like she was meant for it. This was what she always wanted. You remember how after you two would make love sometimes, she would mention a family with kids. She has always wanted a family. And you hated yourself because you couldn't give her that and meanwhile… Taylor IS giving her that. She caresses her belly again, as you continue to stare at it. She gives it a gentle touch, almost afraid to break it. It's only been three months and she's guarding it already. You think that she's going to be a great mom. So you might as well help her be the best mom she can be. Because that's what true love is about.**

**"Is it a boy or a girl?" You ask, almost smiling.**

**"Naya, don't..." She says, in the saddest voice you've ever heard come out of her mouth.**

**"What? I want to know what color I should buy the kid's clothes." You say, almost as if it was obvious.**

**"No, Naya, stop. You're not buying anything for my kid." She says, in a desperate voice.**

**You look at her, clearly not understanding what's going on. "What? Why not?" **

**"It's just..." She scratches her head. "It's not convenient." **

**"You keep saying it's not convenient but I don't understand what's not convenient! Is it not convenient that I know? Is it not convenient that you tell me?" She looks down. "Hemo, just please tell me..." **

**"It's not convenient for you to be part of my life anymore." She rushes out and looks everywhere but to your eyes. And then she whispers the last part. "At all."**

**You close your eyes and try to remain calm. She has said this tons of times before. But why does this feel different? Oh, right. The baby. That's why it feels different. And that was when it all clicked. "You want me to stay away from you …or from the baby?" You open your eyes and look for an answer in her face. But she just looks away again. Sometimes actions really do speak louder than words. "Ok then..." You whisper out, with fresh tears forming in your eyes. She finally looks at you and you see her watery eyes. "I guess I should just..." **

**"I need to focus on my family." She says, giving you an explanation. But you know she is just reminding herself of what she had to do. "I-I can't have you on the side distracting me from my obligations. I'm going to have a kid now. Things are different. This baby is my number one priority and I have to stay with her dad. It's what's best for my baby and for me. I'm not going to keep playing this game we've played for years. This-this kid needs a family and a father and I'm not going to deny her that just because of this" She points between herself and you. "thing we have. So let's just do the mature thing and let it, let it go. You concentrate on your career and that dumbass, abusing boyfriend of yours and I'll take care of Taylor and my kid. Ok?" Somewhere in the middle, she started crying. Not sobbing, just crying. "And-and I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry I'm not the person I want to be. I'm-I'm sorry I can't hold your hand in public. I'm sorry I can't face my fears and-and my demons and my-my problems. I'm sorry our love wasn't strong enough to overcome everything. I'm sorry we got lost somewhere in the middle and I didn't… I didn't save us." She is talking in between sobs. Controlled sobs. "But what I'm mostly sorry for is for-for stopping fate. Because… We're it, Naya. We're it. I can feel it in my heart. I feel it every time I look at you. I feel it every time you hold my hand. Every time you kiss me. Every time you hug me… We're everything we've ever-ever wanted for one another. But I cant… I can't do this. I can't do this anymore and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm such a coward and I'm sorry I didn't fight for us. But… We-we have to let go. Please, please understand."**

**You look at her. And you want… You want to cry… But you… You can't. You can't feel your heart beat. You can't feel your body. You can't feel the pain. She said all of that and somehow.. Your world just… Stopped working. But out all the things she said, you just heard one pronoun.**

**"So, it's a girl." You say, trying hard to start your tears.**

**"What?" She asks, still crying.**

**"You said her. It's a girl." You answer simply, almost lifeless.**

**"Oh..." She says, wiping away her tears. **

**"Yeah." You say in one breath, but somehow it feels like your lungs stopped working. "I bet she's going to have beautiful blonde hair." You extend your hand and put a piece of stray hair behind her ear. She leans in your touch, letting go of more tears. "Like yours." It's like somewhere in this conversation, you lost your mind. Somehow the fact that the kid is going to have blonde hair seems more important than the fact that this may be the last time you really talk to her, besides on set while rehearsing and filming. "I hope that whoever she dates loves her hair as much as I love yours." You keep playing with her hair and she just leans in more. You suddenly see blurry again but even your face is numb. You can't feel your tears. Just her hair.**

**"Nay...Please stop." She says as she takes your hand and puts it down. "Please..."**

**You look at her. You can't feel your eyes. You somehow feel like you're in a lifelike nightmare. The kind in which you just give in and await for your fate. She looks to the side. It takes a few seconds before you notice that you two have company.**

**"Hey, honey." Taylor says as he arrives with some shopping bags. He leans in and kisses her lightly. You feel your insides flinch but you can't stop looking. He notices the tears and gives Heather a questioning look. She just shrugs. "Hey, Naya." He says once he faces you. "How are you?"**

**"Peachy." You answer. You feel drunk. Or high. Or hungover. You know that this isn't a broken heart case. You know she broke your bare existence. **

**"Good." He sets the bags down inside and then he hugs her from behind and places his hands on her belly. "Can you believe it? We're pregnant!" He exclaims, almost oblivious to your pain and hers.**

**"I'm so happy for you two... Really..." You drag out as you keep staring. You lost your mind, but your body has a mind of its own. "Well, I better get going." You think you say. "You two are going to be great parents." You turn around and start walking away. You know you two deserve a better goodbye. But you can't handle a goodbye. So you just take the elevator down.**

**You're not even thinking. You're just walking. You can't think about anything. You can't feel anything. Not even the tears streaming down your face, the ones that stopped once Taylor showed up. Not even your efforts that are slipping down the drain. Not even the hurtful words and the fact that she doesn't want you to be part of her family. You can't feel it. Anything. But once you go outside, you feel the cold. It hits you like razorblades. You can't believe that you didn't feel it before when you were running. It's freezing! You think about walking home like that, but you can't get sick this week. Then you remember that you brought your jacket. So when you check your arms and hands, you realize that you don't have it. Then you remember that you dropped it when she told you that he asked her to marry her.**

**You shouldn't go back. You really shouldn't. But you need your jacket. You can't just walk back like that and you don't have your phone with you. So you decide to go back. It's probably still on the floor.**

**The elevator's doors open on her floor. You take a left, still lifeless, and then you see her. Holding your jacket. Somehow your senses come back to you, so you hide behind the wall while peeking at her. You want to see what she does.**

**She sniffs the jacket a couple of times. And then she hugs it. You see her red eyes from a distant and knowing her, you analyze that she has probably been standing there since you left. Holding the jacket. Smelling it. The thought alone makes you smile.**

**But she seems conflicted. It looks like she doesn't know if she should keep the jacket or leave it there. **

**And then you see this simple activity as something more: if she keeps the jacket, there's still hope... If she doesn't... It's over.**

**She holds on to it a few seconds longer. You keep staring. The seconds feel eternal. And it's wrong to spy on her. But you have to know. You just have to.**

**She hugs it tight. Gives it one last sniff. Then she folds it. Sets it down. And goes inside.**

**Your numbness come back. If you would have seen this a few hours ago, you would have started bawling like a baby. But you just can't feel the pain. There's just too much of it. **

**It's over.**

**It really is.**

**And there's nothing you can do about it.**

**You get out of your hiding place to get your jacket back, but then you hear her door open and go right back to where you were. **

**You spy on her while she quickly picks up your jacket, she places it on her heart, smiles in between tears, and takes it back inside.**

**You smile. Because as much as you both want this "thing" to be over, you both know it never will.**


End file.
